Tips for Peasants – Avoid using corn as something other than a side dish

Corn on pizza is for the worst kind of peasants

Corn is delicious. Corn on the cob, creamed corn, Korn the nu metal band circa 1999. And some local iterations of corn, including night market cobs-on-the-stick and corn soup are wonderful. However, a common peasant trend is the introduction of corn as a topping, condiment, or other addition to an otherwise perfectly fine meal. No one has ever said, “hey, you know what this pizza needs? Corn.” Furthermore, there is no call for adding corn kernels to a sandwich or a salad. They are too small to add any significant taste, but will fall out or separate during consumption. They add very little except for unnecessary filler and are usually an indication that the meal in which they are included is overpriced, low quality, and its creators are hoping to dupe other peasants into paying top dollar for this hot mess of an instagram opportunity. The civilized among us know that corn is only acceptable on the cob, in soup, creamed, or as a side dish, so to avoid acting like a peasant, stick to civilized protocol.

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